France is renowned for its refined culture and unique social norms.
If you are learning French or planning a trip to the Hexagon (a common nickname for France), understanding the rules of French savoir-vivre (good manners) is essential to avoid cultural missteps.
In this article, Atelier An Phu, a French language center in Saigon, unveils the fundamental principles for adopting a respectful and appreciated attitude.
The importance of “bonjour”
In France, starting a conversation without saying “Bonjour” (Hello) can be perceived as impolite. This simple word is the first sign of respect toward another person, whether you know them or not.
- In a store: Always greet the shopkeeper or cashier before asking a question or making a purchase.
- In an elevator: Even among strangers, a small “Bonjour” is expected.
For interactions from morning until late afternoon, use “Bonjour”. After around 6 PM, “Bonsoir” (Good evening) takes over.
- “Salut”: This more informal greeting is reserved for friends, close acquaintances, or people of the same age. Note: It is not recommended to say “Salut” in a professional setting or with strangers.
When leaving someone, it is common to use farewell expressions to wish a good continuation, such as:
- “Bonne matinรฉe” (Have a good morning): Used in the morning to encourage someone to start their day well.
- “Bonne aprรจs-midi” (Have a good afternoon): Used starting from noon.
- “Bonne soirรฉe” (Have a good evening): Used at the end of the day.
- “Bonne nuit” (Good night): Exclusively used when someone is about to go to sleep.
These small expressions allow you to close an interaction warmly and politely. They also show that you value your conversation partner.
Tutoiement or vouvoiement?
The distinction between “tu” (informal “you”) and “vous” (formal “you”) is an important particularity of French. Using the wrong pronoun can easily offend your conversation partner.
- “Vous”: This is the default form of politeness, used with strangers, hierarchical superiors, or in a professional context.
- “Tu”: This form is used among friends, family members, and sometimes among young people of the same age.
Tip: When in doubt, always start with “vous”. Your conversation partner will propose using “tu” if appropriate.
Example:
-
- ยซ Puis-je vous aider ? ยป (May I help you? – formal)
- ยซ Tu veux un cafรฉ ? ยป (Do you want a coffee? – informal)
Introductions: precise codes
During a meeting, introductions follow simple but codified rules:
- You shake hands in a formal or professional context.
- You kiss on the cheek among friends, close colleagues, or family members. The number of kisses varies by region (usually two).
Example: When arriving at a party, it is customary to say “Bonjour” or “Bonsoir” to each person present, not just the host.
Apologies: the art of seeking forgiveness
Apologizing in France requires a particular choice of words and tone. Here are the main expressions to know:
- “Pardon”: Used for simple situations, like when you accidentally bump into someone or need to pass through a narrow space.
- “Dรฉsolรฉ” (Sorry): A sincere expression to apologize when you have caused inconvenience or harm. It can be softened with variations like “Je suis vraiment dรฉsolรฉ” (I am truly sorry) or “Je suis navrรฉ” for more serious situations.
- “Excusez-moi” (Excuse me): A more formal phrase to get someoneโs attention or for light apologies, like when interrupting someone.
- “Je vous prie de m’excuser” (I beg your pardon): A very polite and formal version, ideal for professional contexts.
Note: Avoid saying “Je m’excuse”, as it implies you are forgiving yourself. This formulation is often considered incorrect in French.
Example in a common situation:
- ยซ Excusez-moi, pourriez-vous m’indiquer le chemin ? ยป (Excuse me, could you show me the way? – polite)
- ยซ Pardon, je ne voulais pas vous dรฉranger. ยป (Sorry, I didnโt mean to disturb you – simple apology)
Knowing how to apologize properly is a sign of respect and shows that you are considerate of others.
Other common polite expressions
In addition to apologies, several polite expressions are essential for integrating well into French culture:
- “S’il vous plaรฎt” (Please): Used to make a polite request. It is a crucial sign of respect in daily interactions.
- “Merci” (Thank you): A simple but indispensable expression to show gratitude. For more emphasis, you can say “Merci beaucoup” (Thank you very much) or “Un grand merci” (A big thank you).
- “Je vous prie”: A very polite response to “Merci” in formal settings. It can also introduce a formal request: “Je vous prie de bien vouloir…” (I kindly ask you to…).
- “De rien” (You’re welcome): The most common response to “Merci,” meaning you don’t see it as an effort.
- “Avec plaisir” (With pleasure): An alternative to “De rien” that adds warmth and kindness.
- “ร vos souhaits” (Bless you): Said when someone sneezes, this is a common expression of politeness in France to show attentiveness. If the person sneezes a second time, people sometimes say “ร vos amours” (to your loves).
By using these expressions daily, you will show your respect for French social conventions and strengthen your personal and professional relationships.
Discretion and respect for personal space
In France, discretion is a valued quality. Here are a few things to note:
- Do not speak too loudly in public, whether on the subway or in a restaurant.
- Respect the queue: There are queues everywhere, whether at the bakery or in a supermarket.
- Maintain a reasonable distance: Physical contact with strangers should be limited.
Conclusion
Adopting French etiquette is a way to enrich your experiences and build positive relationships in France. By keeping these rules in mind โ from a simple โBonjourโ to respecting the formal โvousโ โ you will not only show your politeness, but also your interest in French culture. And if you make a mistake, a sincere smile and a โDรฉsolรฉโ are often enough to defuse a situation.
To learn everything about how to adapt to French etiquette and its rules of good manners, take part in our French courses! Contact us for more information.
